I prefer that a couple sit down with me a number of times before their ceremony to speak their hearts and hopefully ascertain if they truly are headed for a successful marriage. And what IS a successful marriage? Of course, there will be rocky areas, and stressful times. Creating the Nuptuals themselves is stressful for most couples. So, how do you react to each other? What's the quality of your conversation...the levels of patience when there's a difference of opinion? How do you get past those differences and resolve them? It's natural for the human being to want to skip over those issues and "cross that bridge when we come to it." But if you haven't built a bridge to be crossed...where are you then?
If you hail from different cultures or religious backgrounds, are you absolutely tolerant of the idiocyncracies in those opposite views? If you are of different races, are you comfortable with your mate's family? What is the reaction of your own family and their's, and how are you dealing with that? Perhaps you're a gay or lesbian couple...have you both "come out" to everyone who's important to you? Are you comfortable with who you are in your workplace?
Everyday life will present challenges. Do you agree on where you will live? What are your dreams and will this marriage support them? Do you both want children...and animals? A second or third marriage might bring children along with it. Do those children accept your mate? Does your mate accept your children? Patty and Sam are Bikers who enjoy their community and work together and support each other on meaningful projects; "Bike Runs" for causes they agree are important. They have a strong basis for their partnership and have had a happy relationship. I'm happy to be in touch with them often when we participate in the Iron Maidens MC Itsy Bitsy Spider Run once a year.
So there are tough questions! Be wise...sit down with your Officiant to discuss your concerns, and make sure before the wedding that you are launching a boat that will weather the storms of ordinary life. When I create or co-create a ceremony (of any kind) I enlist the assistance and opinions of the couple or any whom I serve. The ceremony must, I think, speak the Hearts and Minds of those people...and inspire significant memories and precepts that will carry their attention further, and focus their Intent into their partnership or their healing. Michael and Diane's releasing of the doves was a poinant moment that touched all the congregation, including the wedding party, and crossed the language boundaries of this Chinese and American union. The look of wonder on our faces is an indication of the benefits of visual effects. The doves were a gift from Michael's sister, and a very sweet way of accepting Diane into the family and honoring her brother.
Wishing all success upon your Ceremonies and your Life...if I can assist, it is my honor and pleasure. I am on Long Island, and I do travel. It was with greatest pleasure that I served my own Nephew Frank and his Bride Blake this February 2010...we travelled to Las Vegas, Nevada and held a lovely ceremony in their Bridal Suite. Frank broke the mold, wearing a fur coat and his beloved Grandfather's hat. Not all men would have the courage to assert meaningful symbols and I applaud his honoring of his connections, and Blake's acceptance of his expressions. Their ceremony was filled with mirth and some of their comments had the congregation in a roar! This was indeed a Unique Wedding, and a distinct pleasure for me to perform.
Irene Windhorse ~ Transformative Spiritual Services ~ With Reverence for All Life