The Windhorse

The Windhorse
This is one artform of the Windhorse

Welcome to Windhorse Ways

"Every thing or living being that exists in this world, be it trees, flowers, birds, grasses, rocks, soil of the earth, or human beings, has its unique manner of existence - its essence, its spirit that makes it what it is. That is what is meant by connectedness." --Larry P. Aitken, CHIPPEWA

All Love to You...All Days, All Ways.
Windhorse

Friday, March 12, 2010

LIFE...It's Yours To Make

Dedicated to all those who suffer in relationships they know are disfunctional, feel miserable, and are unable to walk away to allow new opportunities in their lives and the lives of the other.


How Do We “Forgive and Forget” While Remembering

What We Need To Do To Protect Ourselves From Abusive Relationships

Holding a grudge, anger or disappointment is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die. It's pretty well accepted that we need to “let go.” Forgiveness is the greatest thing we can give to others, and even greater to ourselves. To every good lesson learned, however, there is always a downside, or what we perceive as a downside. This is, after all, a world of Duality.

The best way to stop a rumor is to refuse to repeat it. The best way to stop abuse is to refuse to participate in it. We do need to remember how the abuse starts and manifests.
So what to do, when the abuser is someone we love very much? What to do, when it seems they've “seen the light,” and “mended their ways?” Think about it. By the time that has happened, haven't you been back to take yet another and another round of abuse?

Haven't you used every excuse on their behalf? You've understood their pain, Compassionately, you've embraced them again with your heart bursting with love. “Let's go on from here,” you thought...until the demeaning words and insults about things that are so important to you began to flow again. Irrational blaming and assaults of anger darken your days and you are miserable. Perhaps there's cheating; covert romances that impinge on your time together, perhaps cancel your dates, or find your mate missing for hours, a night or more. Perhaps they don't answer the phone for you, and then it is a curt reply and aggressive tones imposing your lack of trust or patience.

I'm confused again,” you say....”What should I do?” “How can I help her/him?” “I don't want to suffer anymore.” Indeed, that's the first clue...are you suffering in this relationship? Is that what you think a relationship should bring to you? Are you under the impression that “That's All There IS?” Unfortunately our society has become one that quips about the “dark side” of marriage, pits men against women and vice verse...and jokes about expecting no more from women or men but the worst. With this mindset, our youth grow up thinking that's how “it is.” “S/he's out to get me and I just have to duck when the garbage hits the fan.” An abused person begins to think that “That's all there is.” “Accept it or have nothing.” “This is the prize, and this is the price I must pay for it.”

Why?

When one considers all the good in life, one can guide their actions and refine their values to include the self-worth they've been denying. If you're standing on the train tracks with a locomotive coming at you...wouldn't you quickly run off the tracks?


If a relationship has 'gone wrong,' thefirst thing to do is look at how you are abusing yourself by staying in the situation and allowing mud to be slung all over you. YOU need to take responsibility! Forcing someone else to take responsibility is impossible! Strong words? Indeed, if repeated attempts at pleasing another have yielded no harmony, the next thing to do is realize you must be your own Knight in Shining Armor. Stand at the gateof your own Castle. Decide what comforts that Castle needs, and craft them within yourself.

Boundaries must be set. What would fulfill you? Which friends exhibit relationships that comfort and satisfy you? Take a lesson from that. Those are the things you need in your intimate relationship...that is what you deserve to expect from your Significant Other. How can we imagine that we deserve any less than the love we give? If you have no one in your life that personifies peace and love...look outside your life. Observe people you see that are smiling and visibly enjoy each other and the activities they participate in. Truthfully, instead of looking for a new love interest...the first responsible thing to do is make your own self your love interest. Take the hand of your Child Within, and promise to protect her/him...take him/her out to the park...for a walk on the beach...on an “Artist Date,” as Julia Cameron would say. Find out what makes YOU tick. What brings you joy that causes giggles to erupt from your depths? Can you remember all the times you pasted a brave smile on your face? How did that feel inside? Did that correct the situation? IS IT WORKING FOR YOU??

Life is not work! Life is automatic! I'm not talking about “making a living.” We have Autonomic Nervous Systems...they keep us alive. Automatically. We never have to think, “Okay, heart, beat now. Lungs, inflate now...empty now...inflate again...okay, time to empty.” All this and more happens for us. That is how automatic LIFE is.

The Source of Life is JOY...The Creator, God, Goddess, Allah, Yaweh...want us to enjoy life. This is the Great Lesson. To give ourselves contentment...then it will automatically spill over to others...and one day, a connection will begin to build into a LOVING relationship.

So, what to do about this love that has gone wrong? That Knight in Shining Armor needs to unsheath her/his double-edged sword every time the impulse to return and “try again” begins to emerge. One side of the sword is forgiveness...it severs one's self-destructive inattention to the facts. The other side of the sword severs the chains that encompass your space. Peace must return to the“land.”


I can't turn my back on him/her,” you say. Can you really afford to continue turning your back on yourself? Have you considered the toll all the stress takes on your mind, body and emotions? That indigestion? Painful bloating? Shaking? Inability to sleep? Colds? Flu? Practice championing yourself, and see how much of that goes away...

Be Mindful of hurting another...it is a very sharp two-edged sword. An abuser will accuse you of being “mean,” “thoughtless,” “never helping.” Logic and Memory are your tools. Who did what? An abuser tries to turn the tables; that's why conversation even becomes off limits...being in the same location becomes off limits. Subjecting oneself to the abuser's tactics might result in reactions that are insulting or violent...don't become the abuser that emerges from the victim. The way to avoid that is to choose to

be the Champion.

Forgive the abuser's ignorance while realizing the spiral you and they have been repeating. Remember that you (and they...but they can only give it to themselves) deserve the best! It is our Birthright to be happy, respected and honored. That begins by respecting and honoring ourselves. It requires disallowing abuse to be rained on us. Would you choose a snarling dog for a pet, or a friendly one?

Accepting that we are NOT the one capable of inspiring grace and willingness to work on a relationship in our chosen person is very difficult. When that can be accepted, however, we open our playing field to someone who is playing the same game. Relationships are work. They require compromise... What part of compromise sounds like being an underdog? Compromise may include “agreeing to disagree...” which is based on and fraught with respect.

It takes great strength of character to champion oneself, and the hidden Goodness in that is that you champion the abuser as well...by removing their target, there is opportunity for them to see the error of their ways. Until they decide to do that, no one can do it for them! In the least, you begin to heal your own life. Whole, healed people radiate Peace and quiet Joy that touches others with healing. Somewhere down the line, a person you needed to “turn your back on” may come into Wholeness and Happiness too...they can never do that while you continue to be their punching bag and deny them the emptiness that can be filled with new Understanding.

Please notice...nowhere in this discourse have I said, “Trust Me!” You need to Trust Yourself! Feel the feelings in your body...if you feel like crying, let yourself cry. Then begin to look at what is and has hurt you. Begin to remove those factors from your life. If they issue from a person, speak up for yourself. Define and assert...redefine and reassert your Boundaries. Inwardly we all want to be bound-LESS...that means being released, untied, unbound from tethers to heartbreak.
The example...the Archetype you set for yourself becomes one others can be inspired by as well. This is the true responsibility of each human being...to perceive and activate the best in Humanity.


FIVE FINGER PRAYER...a useful tool:


1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."

2. The
next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The
next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The
fourth finger! is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger; as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our
little finger; the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.








Irene Windhorse
~ Transformational Spiritual Services ~ With Reverence for All Life

Friday, March 5, 2010

Creating Your Wedding of a Lifetime

A blog is all about the author's opinions, and of course this one is about mine. However, I'm sure just about every member of the Clergy agrees that the communication and planning of a Wedding Day is a crucial part of a couple's future together as a couple. We've all heard of Bridezilla by now; and too often of the Groom who resigns himself to no opinion, so as to avoid "making waves." Can you see the pattern that emerges out of that?

I prefer that a couple sit down with me a number of times before their ceremony to speak their hearts and hopefully ascertain if they truly are headed for a successful marriage. And what IS a successful marriage? Of course, there will be rocky areas, and stressful times. Creating the Nuptuals themselves is stressful for most couples. So, how do you react to each other? What's the quality of your conversation...the levels of patience when there's a difference of opinion? How do you get past those differences and resolve them? It's natural for the human being to want to skip over those issues and "cross that bridge when we come to it." But if you haven't built a bridge to be crossed...where are you then?

If you hail from different cultures or religious backgrounds, are you absolutely tolerant of the idiocyncracies in those opposite views? If you are of different races, are you comfortable with your mate's family? What is the reaction of your own family and their's, and how are you dealing with that? Perhaps you're a gay or lesbian couple...have you both "come out" to everyone who's important to you? Are you comfortable with who you are in your workplace?
Everyday life will present challenges. Do you agree on where you will live? What are your dreams and will this marriage support them? Do you both want children...and animals? A second or third marriage might bring children along with it. Do those children accept your mate? Does your mate accept your children? Patty and Sam are Bikers who enjoy their community and work together and support each other on meaningful projects; "Bike Runs" for causes they agree are important. They have a strong basis for their partnership and have had a happy relationship. I'm happy to be in touch with them often when we participate in the Iron Maidens MC Itsy Bitsy Spider Run once a year.

So there are tough questions! Be wise...sit down with your Officiant to discuss your concerns, and make sure before the wedding that you are launching a boat that will weather the storms of ordinary life. When I create or co-create a ceremony (of any kind) I enlist the assistance and opinions of the couple or any whom I serve. The ceremony must, I think, speak the Hearts and Minds of those people...and inspire significant memories and precepts that will carry their attention further, and focus their Intent into their partnership or their healing. Michael and Diane's releasing of the doves was a poinant moment that touched all the congregation, including the wedding party, and crossed the language boundaries of this Chinese and American union. The look of wonder on our faces is an indication of the benefits of visual effects. The doves were a gift from Michael's sister, and a very sweet way of accepting Diane into the family and honoring her brother.

Wishing all success upon your Ceremonies and your Life...if I can assist, it is my honor and pleasure. I am on Long Island, and I do travel. It was with greatest pleasure that I served my own Nephew Frank and his Bride Blake this February 2010...we travelled to Las Vegas, Nevada and held a lovely ceremony in their Bridal Suite. Frank broke the mold, wearing a fur coat and his beloved Grandfather's hat. Not all men would have the courage to assert meaningful symbols and I applaud his honoring of his connections, and Blake's acceptance of his expressions. Their ceremony was filled with mirth and some of their comments had the congregation in a roar! This was indeed a Unique Wedding, and a distinct pleasure for me to perform.

I wish you great joy and success in your Marriage!
COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE COMMUNICATE


Irene Windhorse ~ Transformative Spiritual Services ~ With Reverence for All Life

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Is your TV really your friend?

televirus
Thanks to Romik Kimor:
If you experience "mind fog" after watching television, you are not alone. Studies have shown that watching television induces low alpha waves in the human brain. Alpha waves are brainwaves between 8 to 12 HZ. and are commonly associated with relaxed meditative states a...s well as brain states associated with suggestibility. While Alpha waves achieved through meditation are beneficial (they promote relaxation and insight), too much time spent in the low Alpha wave state caused by TV can cause unfocussed daydreaming and inability to concentrate. Researchers have said that watching television is similar to staring at a blank wall for several hours.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/247802/your_brain_waves_change_when_you_watch.html